Letting Go to Grow

January 6, 2015


Happy New Year! 2015 is here! So is the Cancer Full Moon.

What new, beautiful and powerful experiences in love and life are you ready to welcome in the coming year?
Somewhat strange related follow-up question: What part(s) of you are you willing to let die this year?
Letting Go to Grow


It strikes me that in order to grow in love and life in potent and powerful ways it requires that we periodically let some parts of us die. As in some story about yourself, some identity and/or relationship, some long held dream or belief… Damn. I know. It sucks.


And yet, we are all going to experience the big death at some point. Nothing we have now will last forever. For me it’s clear that practicing mini-deaths and getting comfortable with being uncomfortable is necessary to get to that point where I can look back on my life and feel damn good about the rich and rewarding life I led.


What part of you needs to die in order to look back at your life on your death bed and say, “Wow! That was an amazing life!”? What mini-death do you need to experience in 2015 in order for some new brilliant part of you to come forward this year?


Releasing the Fears


Two nights ago I had a dream with all my worst fears. In it my boyfriend had a baby with a woman who’s a licensed psychotherapist after being involved with her secretly for 8 months. I hit a woman on a bicycle in my mainstream sister’s Mini Cooper and I lost my job that gives me a steady corporate paycheck.


When I feel into it, it’s clear that this dream was basically a bright flashing neon sign pointing to all the things and dreams that I need to let go of in order to move forward in my life. I need to let go of the idea of being a respectable licensed psychotherapist.  I need to let go of idea of becoming a mother. I need to let go of my attachment to the job title that has fed me for the past decade. (Though not quite just yet ;) And I need to let go of my fear of hurting people (which can often holding me back from being of service to people.) In many ways, I need to let go of mainstream approved.


When you imagine the most brilliant expression of what you want to do and who you want to be in 2015 what parts of you do you need to let go of?


If you want to attract a fulfilling partnership, maybe that part of you that doesn’t trust others with your vulnerable heart needs to be released. If you want to experience new depths of intimacy in your love life, maybe that part of you that reflexively hides the truth of who you are needs a good funeral. If you want to feel really good in your own skin, maybe that part of you that numbs out with food to deal with difficult emotions needs to burn a phoenix’s death.


I can’t in good conscious ask you do something that I’m not willing to do myself. For myself, it’s clear that in order to grow the life that I feel called to create I need to let go of the safety of mainstream approval.


My Niche Revealed


So here’s my big, bold, scary, super vulnerable reveal:


I’m officially focusing my relationship coaching practice to support poly-curious women. That is single dating women and women in relationships who are wondering if they could flourish in a non-monogamous relationship container. Over the next year I’ll be rolling out offers and content that helps this unique group of women.


I am above all else committed to helping women create conscious yummy love lives that meet and feed their souls. In my coaching practice I help women stay in a healthy relationship to themselves as they make big shifts in their love life. Sometimes that means opening up their hearts and bodies in new unconventional ways and letting go of some concept of what other people say relationships are supposed to be. Sometimes that means they get clear that monogamy is a better choice for their soul and giving them support to get their needs met.

We all need help creating healthy relationships that balance autonomy and togetherness, security and freedom. This newsletter will continue to support all those interested in creating juicy healthy loving relationships.


Poly-curious women have a plethora of questions to ask themselves and need a good deal of support to help them create healthy conscious yummy love lives that honors who they truly are. I’m willing to sacrifice my desire for some section of humanity’s approval in order to make myself available for these women and their needs.


What are you willing to let go of for your deepest desires?

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